Lindsey: You know what's awkward?
L: polyester
Brittany: lol
B: how so?
L: Okay, so you know those prepackaged Halloween costumes?
L: and they say one size fits most?
L: but it's like polyester blend or something, because it's waaay cheap
L: and no matter what it doesn't really look good on anyone?
B: yeah
B: freakin kindergarten
B: i was an itchy cheerleader
L: So ergo, using math rules, awkward costume=awkward=polyester

In the story that is life, I just ask the questions, I tend not to answer them


So, I think if I had to talk about my philosophy, and what it is, I would have to explain my cell phone. Because I think, that’s what my thought process really is. Maybe a little background will help.
So, AT&T and Singular (raising the bar) merged and now I have this nifty plan where every so often I get this free upgrade. And low and behold, come summer, I get to cash in on this suh-weet deal. So I chose this nice little flip phone, with camera, FM radio. Very adorable. It has nifty features, like timers and calendars. The best two things about it, is that it has 3 different Instant Messengers, and a cute little application called Notes.
Now, Notes allows you to make little notes and it stores them in your phone. It also has a feature where you can have it pinned to your “phonetop” (a computer has a desktop, so a phone has a phonetop) so when you open the phone, there’s a nice little reminder. But what I’ve found is that it’s really handy to have when you find something you want to keep, but have no paper. And since I got into the habit of carrying my phone around everywhere, it’s triple handy. Whenever something strikes me, a word, a phrase or something I want to remember, it goes into Notes, and if it’s something especially needed. I pin it.
After hearing that a good friend died, I don’t even know if I was really listening, or passing by a radio (my second best friend) but I heard the lyrics “ These small hours/these little wonders/these twist and turns of fate” by Rob Thomas. And it really struck me. Moreso because it was applicable to my life. So I currently have it pinned.
My phone holds other bits of wisdom. The first one is from one of my favorite movies Psycho “We all go a little mad sometimes, don’t you?” It was a pretty late night, and I had already stayed up watching The Birds (an excellent piece of cinematic work) so I was a little tired and my brain was staring to wander. I hadn’t seen this movie for a while, and then Norman Bates said it. I believe everyone should see a movie once, and then watch it again. Know how it is supposed to end, and watch it again. Once you know the story, and what’s supposed to happen you don’t watch for the story purpose, you watch for the film. The reason to the madness. And this quote was like a spark. He had a point. It struck a chord in me that deemed to be written down.
The word Hoxie. I have no memory o where this came from, but I was looking through my phone and there it was. But the word was still nice to me. It was a pretty word. I think x’s make a word pretty. The fact they can be pronounced hard, or like a soft sh sound. It’s really versatile. And it was just this single word that jumped up and kicked my brain. My philosophy includes living each moment, and cherishing the things that make you smile, and in this case the things that make me think. Like the letter X makes me think. For a letter that isn’t used in many words, it’s put in so many other places. Like in screen names, and random times. Even the Romans used it as a numeral.
A proxy website address. Oh yes, I do have one I use at school. I fight the man. I should be able to look up pictures of 1800’s hair and makeup if I need to. I think that the guy who created that amazing proxy everyone used was cool. He listened to the students, and what they want. He’s smart. Except he did get caught, but really, he didn’t deserve to be punished. He should have received an award for Excellence in Computer Sciences.
A reminder from Early April for state festival. I don’t know why I haven’t deleted this yet. I think It has to do with the fact that part of me wants to hold onto a bit of high school a while longer. My head is raring to get out of here and go on with life, but my heart’s still wanting to be able to stay with the Thespian troop. The heart works in mysterious ways. I’ve had definite heart aching for things that don’t exist, or have ever happened. Like I have strange urges to want to be a panda. And why not? They are cute, cuddly, everyone likes them. They’re protected; they can eat and play all day. Sometimes I think life would be prettier if I was animal. Animals have good reputations, and especially to be a cat, or a dog, where you can get taken care of and loved, unconditionally. That’s what this world really needs. More unconditional love.
Something I said that I found particularly funny. This is one of those things where it’s funny, moreso to yourself then anyone. But I was at a convenience store when it happened. I was getting some Diet Dr Pepper and I got ice from the machine (small crushed) when I looked into the cup the ice was in little pellets. It was amazing. I had never seen anything like it before. I keep this quote because I want to always have something to smile at.
Are you too pure to be pink? I don’t know if I am. But I saw this on a shirt in a catalog once, and it was pretty clever. It’s referencing the movie Grease; the group of girls was called the Pink Ladies. I don’t know why, but they were the popular bad girls of the movie. They were different but sassy. And I like sassy, it reminds me that while I’m a woman, I’m not meek, nor should I ever let anyone ever make me feel so.
Another quote of mine I found funny. I know, time to deflate the head. Keeping my own quotes? Who am I Oscar Wilde? No. But I do amaze myself and say something witty sometimes. This surprises me because half of the rest of the time, I usually lose my mind and think stupidly. I said this quote on the closing night of my last Theater Production show. I’ve been in the class for 4 years, and it was almost scary that it was my last show with the class. I’ve known some of those kids since they were freshman. But Afterwards, we all went to a cast party and I somehow wound up talking about movies. But in my description, I went into a cliché, detailing or camera shots and such. Which is why I think I should be a screenwriter sometimes. I think in film. My brain works like a TV. So when I write I see actors saying it, or describe something with a camera angle thrown in. I think it makes my writing more imaginable, but I think sometimes other people don’t see it that way. I believe that the best writer is the kind writes in a way that allows you to visualize everything in your head easily. Even after the Harry Potter movies were released, I still was able to visualize the books better. Sometimes I mix snatches of the movies sounds or actor’s voices into my reading. My visualizing crosses paths with everything else in my head often.
Sometimes I feel myself wandering away from my mind. Like, just now, I stopped writing to go start some laundry. After all the days I told myself to do it, just now I somehow felt like I had to do it then. I rather enjoy things like that, because I do get things done. Although it is rather irritating when it’s in the middle of writing a paper. The compulsion is like a small puppy. Very cute and nice, and behaved sometimes, but other times it keeps wanting to play when you can’t.
The final thing in my phone is a quote from a bad book How to Kill a Rockstar. It’s the most cliché novel I have ever read, but hard to put down. I want so badly to stop reading, because I know it’s bad, but I still can’t help but to read it and like it just a little. This book, the quote really, reminds me to not lose my true self. In a crowd like this earth, losing one’s way is too easy. The trends and the yearning for approval from peers keep everyone on a leash. There are those who are lucky enough to sever that hold and they float free. I envy those people. The ones who can fly away while I’m stuck here, anxiously waiting to see that look of approval from someone.  I often find myself towing the line and weakening the leash. But then I mention liking a certain band, or a certain song and I scoot back to the hold. It’s safe here.
The other half of my brain called, they need me back. I heard the distant sounds of a Britney Spear’s song in the background. I have the feeling that other half is also sipping a glass of ice and Diet Cherry Pepsi. I’m probably right; it’s what she does these days. She also rolls the windows down in the car and puts her arm out, letting the air rush over her fingers. She also is wondering how this will be graded. Can you mark points down for a philosophy paper? One about a person’s own view? Isn’t that like saying they’re wrong? In a way? Perhaps. I’ll get back to that side later. The pillow’s calling my name.